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April 2019

It’s just a Saturday ritual my dear; So have no fear And let’s be clear, I’m not gallivanting, I’ve no bird in tow, Think of it more Like I’m off to a show; I’ll be back before you know. And yes the pub is also part Of the ritual we must trek, But please take […]

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February 2019

Touchline shouting, that’s all I ever hear, I’m so confused and filled with fear. I’m only ten years old and football should be fun, But with all this noise I don’t know which way to run. “Get back in defence!” my manager shouts. Dad shouts, “Get up front and deal with these louts!” Loud mouth […]

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December 2018

Lullaby for a Referee’s Baby The pitch is cold and dark The night is dark and deep The players have all gone to bed So sleep, baby, sleep. . The whistle’s on the shelf The boots are in a heap The kit is in the laundry bag So sleep, baby, sleep. . The house is […]

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November 2018

How to Score Goals Approach with the ball Sudden Sound of bagpipes (For this you will need an accomplice) Goal . Approach with ball Plus cake Sing “Happy Birthday to you!” Invite goalie to blow his candles out etc. . Approach with ball Point skywards Say,”Oh look – a vulture!” (he will have forgotten the […]

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September 2018

This is the football Season it is that time of year When men in the pub talk football as they enjoy their beer And look forward to September when one club will fly the winner’s flag The team that wins the Premiership gives their fans the right to brag. . Their wives nicknamed the footy […]

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August 2018

Football Wedding Match . It’s a special day for us all We’ve been waiting till now To run with the ball Stood in the sidelines Cheering them on Wondering when the game would be won Now that it’s here we can hardly wait Crowds are here for this special date We’ve come to see the […]

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July 2018

Mud Football . After dividing ourselves And having dressed In near angelic whiteness Do we stroll upon the field We shout our guttural cries Ritual insults as required By the customs of the game The we gather to our respective sides And with a kick of pigskin We are off Flurries of muck Marking our […]

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May 2018

The pitch upon the village green Still sparkles with its morning dew Except, that is, for one mysterious patch. We fasten Timmy’s dog lead to a bench. . Descending from a battered van The opposing team are not what we expect Older and scowling, oddly kitted out Their goalie has an eye patch and a […]

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April 2018

Soccer . When I hear the whistle It’s like a cannon Giving the signal for the game to start A war between warriors With a victory on their mind With the aim of bypassing the keeper, Getting the ball inside the goal The ball touching the net Setting off the crowd Hearing the screams From […]

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March 2018

Everton supporters song from the 1960s . Bless ’em all Bless ’em all Bless ’em all The long and the short and the tall Bless wee Alex and Royston, too Bless all the boys that are playing in Blue Can you identify the two Everton players mentioned in the ditty? . . . Saturday 3rd […]

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